Hubby wants oral sex, but I don’t want to anymore. What should I do?
My hubby and I have been married for a little over 2 years. We’re in our mid 20′s. In the beginning I gave him oral sex quite a bit, and liked it, but after awhile I started not to like it and just felt like I was doing it because he wanted me to and I wanted to please him. I don’t think that I should do something just because someone else wants me to. I haven’t done it for a few months, and my hubby stopped asking, but last night he wanted it again. He said it releases stress. I don’t know why he couldn’t use a different stress relief technique. He says “well you knew what I liked before we got married.” It wouldn’t make sense to divorce over this. I just simply don’t want to perform oral sex, and I feel bad since he wants it so bad( and doesn’t ask often). Should I do it even though I don’t want to? I’m stuck!
You think he would understand but I don’t think he does. He says its a “simple pleasure”. I don’t know why he can’t just accept this. Probably because I did it for so long and just stopped “cut him off” as he says.
I did not “lure him in” with sex, I just liked it back then. I think I need to look deeper into this…and see if there’s a reason behind it. In the last few months, I haven’t felt as close to my hubby and we’ve been arguing more (mostly about how to raise our kids). This IS very personal, but I really don’t feel comfortable talking to any of my friends/family about it. Thanks for listening.
Tagged with: anymore • Don't • Hubby • oral • Should • want • wants
Filed under: Stress Relief Techniques
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Hire an escort or ask your best gal friend to do it because you won’t anymore.
Just say “I don’t want to do that anymore, sorry.” your married he’ll understand.
All I can say is…it’s your mind, your body, your decision and your mouth. If hubby does not like your decisions, then he needs to go elsewhere. Ask him to do things he has always refused to do and see how far you get with him being a …..yes man
Compromising is always the solution for everything. Explain what you feel to your partner. Because being truthful to each other is the best way to get a relationship to work better
To me it would really depend on whether or not you had a good reason. I would think you’d want to give pleasure to your husband sexually to make your sex life good. But if you have a reason like it turns you completely off or that you have a horrible gag reflex and it makes you want to throw up, than tell him that and maybe he’ll understand. Just not wanting to do it anymore seems odd to me, especially if he’s not asking that often.
OH GIVE ME A BREAK IT RELIEVES STRESS????? The guy just wants HEAD!!!! He can sit in a tub and read a book also if he JUST wants to relieve stress!!! I hope you didn’t buy that one??? You don’t have to do anything your not comfortable in doing. Thats the bottom line!!!
Aww! maybe put sugar on his sausage? and then suck =D maybe u’ll enjoy it more… goodluck.
You liked it..then you suddenly didnt? Make up your mind and get on with your life
you should try to keep him happy at home…
Sarah, is that you? If so, yes, you should do it.
My sister withheld sex from her husband and he divorced her and now she totally regrets it because she still loves him, but he has married another woman. So holding back has its price. If you really don’t want to do it, how about getting him some porn he can watch and take care of himself? Or just take the matter in hand before it can go too far. Good luck.
I’m sure he does a lot of things for you that he doesn’t want to do, like take out the garbage or clean the gutters, or something like that. I think in a marriage there has to be compromise and it can’t always be about what you want. Though I don’t think anyone should force you into doing something you don’t want to do, but if he’s performing oral sex on you, then I think you should return the favor. Now if he never satisfies you in that way, then really it is about pleasing him and that’s selfish and I would lose interest in it myself. But if he’s making that effort then I think you should too.
If the situation is like that, then you must think, what you want do, another woman happily will so hopefully your husband isn’t weak.
What made you change your mind?
Why do something that you don’t want to? It’s called sacrifice and it’s what you do for someone you love.
Why not offer a compromise?
You can start with oral but finish with intercourse.
You should or someone else probably will.
Men are ridiculously selfish when it comes to oral sex. Do they really think it’s enjoyable to suck on the smelly sweaty thing? Not really. It’s something you do to please the one you love. If they start taking advantage of that, and don’t return the favor, they should be cut off from the sucking.
What’s wrong with doing something for your spouse just because it makes them happy? If people stop trying to make their spouses happy then what’s the point?
I wouldnt do it lol but thats just me…my husband was the first guy i ever gave oral to…and i liked doing it at the beginning becuz he enjoyed it…i hate doing it now. I think its gross and the only time i do it is if i have a few drinks in me lol….but he knows not to “go” in my mouth becuz i would FREAK lol. I think it is completely up to you and how you feel about it. You are 100% right on not doing something just cuz someone else wants you to do it. Stick with how you feel and if he wants to divorce you becuz of it, then hes just weird lol. Hope this helped and good luck to you
You married him and part of a promise in marriage is that you will do what is necessary to keep the other happy. What if when you were dating he always did sweet things for you and once you were married he just decided he didn’t “feel like it”? That means that he broke his promise to you to be the person you married. It should make you happy to do something that makes him feel good and vice versa. This is not a good sign in my opinion…sorry.
suck it up and please your man
Just explain to him that you’re not comfortable with this anymore, and ask if there’s anything else you could do that would satisfy you both
I feel the same way you do, however, I do it for him. He does a lot for me so I try to even out the field and help him out too even though I don’t like it so much.
Yes, you should. Why? Marriage is about compromising. There are plenty of things you are not going to want to do but you are not having to hurt yourself to do it. Do it like twice a month. You should like to make your hubby happy without him having to ask for it. Do not be selfish.
You broads are all the same! If he leaves you, I guarantee you will be blowing the next guy every day until he marries you, then the cruel cycle will start all over. Why do you broads do this?
well he is right, i mean you did know what he liked before you two got married and you provided that for him. But now that you no longer like doing it you need to explain that to him. Although it’s not fair for you to do it for him often and then one morning wake up and decide well i won’t be doing that again! discuss the problem before jumping to conclusions
well, i am not a guy who gets oral sex often, but that is something that well… should be mutual. thats just me. but if u dont feel comfortable doing it, just tell him. but if he is scumbag, he might just get it somewhere else. so…. thats something u might need to think about. but if that happens, he obviously doesnt love u.
and yeah, it sort of ure fault for getting him use to it.
WOW..this is very personal and only you know how your marriage is. I would say nothing should be done unless you both agree. You can tell him you want to try different things but right now you don’t want to do that as it makes you feel a certain way. He should care about that…wont’ like it…but should care about YOU first.
You are right..divorce is not an answer…too much of that…but you can compromise and agree on issues between you.
this is something you both need to talk about…and if you are absolutely against it you don’t do it. You have a right to feel good about having sex too. It is supposed to heighten your marriage and your intimacy…not make you feel so badly you might turn from sex altogether.
you are not frigid or anything honey….there are many ways to make love and not everyone likes everything.
Talk to him……and ignore the idiots here who say you are selfish and you married him and you have to do it. You do not. IF he loves you he won’t force an issue anymore than you would force him to do something he is against.
Love isn’t sex….sex is part of love! It is to be enjoyed..and if your relationship depends on THIS ONE ISSUE..you are in trouble. No marriage is everything we want it to be…and when you are forced to do something that makes you feel turned off and/or bad then you just don’t do it. You have a right to feel good about you too. You are not his sex slave! You are his partner in life…you are a wife and a woman and a person……and you have rights too ! You are much more than someone who gives oral sex….and he should see that!
Also those that say you are a lazy wife now should realize their relationships are in trouble too when they think controlling someone in their life is the most important thing in the world. LOVE CHANGES faces..it is never the animal passion and the same all the time. Life is there…you live together and you have a lifetime together and love is never the same. It matures and takes on different stages…and it is not lazy or wrong to change your opinion on something.
There is MUCH more to life than one subject! Marriage is much more than being based on oral sex. Come on people…are you that insensitive and crazy to believe someone is lazy because of that? How do you not know she cleans the house and takes care of his laundry and cooks food etc..takes care of a million other things for him….that is love. Get real everyone…you are hard…very cold and hard when you DEMAND that someone is lazy because they change their mind on how they want sex. IF YOU LOVED SOMEONE you respect them. You will change many times in your lifetime….and you won’t like the same thing forever as your lifestyle and tastes change.
Talk to him and ignore these people here. They are selfish if they think you are lazy or wrong.
you are selfish
men marry you because of the woman you ARE not the lazy wife you will become…
what the hell is so wrong with pleasing him? this is sex and you are his wife, you signed on for this relationship and now you can’t start taking away what you already convinced him you were enjoying.
I think that if you always did it before, you liked doing it to please him, then what is the problem now… you don’t care about pleasing him? You are married and he isn’t going anywhere so now you don’t have to? I don’t think that is fair. You probably need to find out why you liked to before… you said to please him… then find out why you don’t think he deserved to be pleased now. Maybe not all the time, but I think you should want to please him because he is your hubby.
If you did it and now are saying no, then that is just teasing. What exactly is your reasoning for doing it then just all of a sudden do not like it? Marriage is a give and take situation, i understand that you dont want to and no you shouldnt feel forced to do so. Save the oral sex for specail occasions, or a sexy crazy night or something. Tell him that you will save that for random acts when you feel like really being okay with it. You cant just do it then not ever again, that isnt fair to him. No need to divorce over oral sex, just compromise and talk about it, tell him how you truly feel, and ask someone why you are feeling this way all of a sudden as well.
Tell him no.And explain to him why you feel the way you do.He’ll understand,after all,he is your husband.
You should never do anything sexually that you don’t WANT to do. And him making demands – even if mildly – about this isn’t ok either. If he’s so stressed then let him relieve himself for a while until you feel READY to do it again. I would HOPE that he is returning the “oral” favor cuz if he ain’t then I say FORGET IT BUSTER! Engaging in oral sex when you aren’t in the mood or wanting to is very demeaning and violating in my opinion.
In my opinion you would WANT TO DO THIS again if your sex life was more exciting, more equally giving and taking and mutually satisfying and maybe more experimental in some way perhaps. Try some other NeW things together so that he isn’t feel deprived or neglected atleast. Maybe the mood will reignite in you after a while too.
The point of marriage is to please eachother, even if sometimes it may involve putting your own feelings aside to make your spouse feel better, however he should also respect your wishes, which it seems he has since he stopped asking you for it, even tho in the back of his mind he’s probably needed it so much, sometimes we all slip up. Oral sex is a really enjoyable thing for a man, and can be for a woman as well, why not let him return the favor?? If you love him then you should be happy to do this for him at least every once in a while, of course unless there is something that is making it way too difficult such as him being unclean, you not feeling well, or something else, if this is the case you should explain to him he hasn’t done anyhting wrong that you just need to overcome whatever it is, and maybe he can help!!
Come to a agreemant.Im sure if you asked for oral he would give it to
you.Communication people thats why marriages fail.Let him know you dont like it anymore.Try something different masterb….or just do it for him he is your husband not a one night stand.Thanot asking too much if you love him.
Tell him you arent comfortable doing it anymore. You know that you used to,but you dont want to and it bothers you to feel obligated. Try to come up with other ideas of things you can do for him as stress relievers.
Marriage is about sacrifice and doing for the other partner. If that is all he is asking for then you are blessed. If you don’t want to then you are going to have to deal with the consequences of rejecting him and all that entails. Just do it, if there is a reason why you don’t want to, not clean or whatever then tell him, but this is the reason why so many marriages end in divorce because they can’t sacrifice for the other person, it is all about what are they going to do for me. Just love him and bless him and ask what can you do for him. Make him happy, just do it.
the only problem with that is he is going to get it else where. Guys need bj’s just like they need sex. I think its a total differant feeling for them. If they only get sex and not the bj’s there sex life wont feel complete and its possible they might end up cheating. Or find a way that u would be interested in giving him a bj again.
Some times its could be cause u might not be close to him or mabye he throws an attitude at u some times and u are mad at him. That could be the reasons of why u wouldnt want to proform!I think there is something about him thats turning u off u just have to figure out what that something.
I think you should every once in a while, but explain to him that you no longer enjoy it as much as you once did. Cutting him off completely isn’t compromising. On the other hand, he knew when you got married that over time things would change in each of you and those things can’t be predicted but need to be accepted to move on. Perhaps there are things that can be changed to make it more appealing to you to, hair removal, flavored lotion, ect.
I think you should do it, once in a while for the sake of your marriage. If you feel that strongly about it, then be ready for the repercussions. Cheating, masturbating, not interested often, or even divorce. Some men can over look this, others can’t, just know that there will be consequences for this.
I’m curious as to what made you like it before, and now you don’t. I’m sure he’s wondering the same thing.
Do you work !!! Or does your poor husband have to drag his @ss out of bed every morning to provide a home for you ?
Does your husband sacrifice his time, and energy and health to make sure there is food on the table for his family?
I’m sure when it’s raining or freezing outside, he would much rather roll over and stay home, but he goes to work FOR YOU !!!!!
FOR GOD’S SAKE….SUCK THE MAN’S DICK !!!!
There is nothing too good for a man who works hard to support his family.
this is what i think, i think that now you are married you feel as though you shouldn’t do what “bad” girls do.
well. yes you do.
what has changed…you say you used to like it…
just because you are married..it’s ok to do what you want in your room. get as hot as you want. you will not be judged…
get comfortable with your new “image” imagine…
you are the hottest thing in your husbands life. go hottie.
if you want to..do it..if you don’t want to don’t… the first time my husband and i did it..i almost thre up on him. now i love to.
What a bait and switch. Maybe he should quit working because he doesn’t like it anymore or change his mind about wanting children.
I want to please my husband. You should, too. If you did it before (to get him, in my opinion), you should keep doing it. If you choose to quit, it is certainly your prerogative, but I think you should understand that it’ll probably be the end of your marriage. And completely your fault. He’ll just be waiting for you to cut him off some other way. What’ll that be? Sex?
If you quit, I don’t think it’ll be long before he finds a woman who will. If you had never done it, this would be completely different.
Very simply YES!
Take a little advice from someone who has been married for 21 years. If it isn’t all that awful you need to do it or else he’ll find it elsewhere. It sounds like there is more going on that what you are telling us (power struggle). Besides it’s great to receive it in return….
Most men aren’t satisfied just talking about it. Give him all the oral sex he wants.
Grow up.
I know that you are not going to want to here this but you need to stop looking at sex as if its a chore. That is so unhealthy that I can’t even begin to describe how sick of an attitude that it is.
Too many women view there bodies as if they are solid gold and that men should be happy for what ever they are given.
That is the road to coming home one day and finding your spouse with a woman who doesn’t have all kinds of sick hang ups about sex.
Sex should be about sharing and giving.
Just another tramp that lures the man into marriage with sex then becomes Mother Teresa once the ring is on.
You are a fraud, and a poor example for ALL women.
Suck it up. Literally. You are married now. Be a wife.
i don’t do it, and my sex life is perfectly happy. i don’t like doing it, and i don’t ask my husband to do it to me. i’m not comfortable with him doing it to me, and he’s fine with that. there is no reason to divorce over that.
You’re not willing to put in the effort to turn him on? Such love! Such devotion!
Maybe you should have married someone that you gave a rats @ss about.
If he just stopped doing something you liked because ‘he shouldn’t have to do something just because someone else wants him to’, how would you feel?
Is there something wrong with doing something just to please your partner once in a while?